A humble observation...

Let me start out by saying I consider myself smarter than most people... Not better, not happier, not funnier, not more inclined to make a real difference... Just smarter, or not as dumb, which is more accurate... I've taken several IQ tests, and they come out roughly the same, give or take an IQ point or two... I won't tell what that number is because that's not the point... What IS the point is all of these tests point out that I'm in the top 5-10% of the human race as far as my IQ goes...

This means that 90-95% of the people out there are dumber than I am... Does anyone have ANY idea how that makes me feel?!?! I've done some incredibly stupid things in my life... So if my math is correct, it's conceivable that up to 95% percent of you have done thing up to 95% dumber than I have...

In short, the world is doomed... Doomed, I say! DOOMED!!!! (cue the apocalypse soundtrack)

If anyone bothers to read this, which I know they won't, but on the off chance someone DOES, go, right now, and take one of those free on line IQ tests... Ignore the number, it's not that important. What is important is the percentile... Of the human race, at what percentile do you fall... this is a far more important measure, because this tells you how out numbered you are...

Me and most of my friends tend to fall in the 90-95th percentile... This means we are outnumbered toughly 10-1... Yes, and if I check my math again, that means me and my friends are SCREWED!!!!

Example, when you are stuck in traffic, take a look around you... When I look I see that 9 out of every 10 have the capability to do something up to 90-95% more stupid than anything I've ever done... And they could do it right at that moment, with yours truly as an innocent bystander... But no one said life was fair…

Another example, Find a cardboard crusher that does NOT have a sign on it saying: “DO NOT ENTER”…

I could give you hundreds of examples, but after a while it just becomes depressing… And I refuse to be anything but scared about the whole thing… If I’m depressed, I’ve lost hope… If I’m scared, that means I’m still a realist about it… Yea, it’s delusional, but it’s all I’ve got…

Oh, how I envy those middle grounders, that happy majority at the 50th percentile… they out-number everyone… not too smart as to be aware of the realities, but not dumb enough to walk into a cardboard crusher… Going happily about their daily lives, driving along, talking on a cell phone while reading a newspaper or doing their makeup… I long for that blissful life…

But, no, that is not for me… I’m too busy trying to avoid those people on the road because I’m smart enough to know they are out there… happily waiting for that moment to do something 90-95% dumber than anything I’ve ever done…

It’s thoughts like that that keep me awake at night…

Merry Christmas...

Merry Christmas to everyone who isn't reading my blog... And to those that are reading it, I have nothing to say to you... because there is no "you"... I'm the only person that reads it, and I've already told myself Merry Christmas... so take that, no one!!!!!!

Why are pacifists always angry?

So I've mostly stopped watching anything closely related to the news... Why? Because it sucks, that's why... So imagine my complete and total lack of surprise when I'm flipping through all 5 billion channels on cable hoping against hope that there might be one interesting thing on TV to watch... Then I happen to stumble across Hannity and Combs, always good for a laugh... But these three talking heads are discussing Sean Penn winning some First Amendment award.

Apparently, in these oh, so modern times, speaking harshly of one's elected* leader is considered bravery... Cries of "Impeachment!!!!" fresh on his lips, he then speaks of the dangers of censorship... And how the Bush administration is always trying to shut him up...

Really? I knew the Bush Administration has it's share of incompetence, as all Administrations have, but I for one would think that his near constant criticism of anything related to Bush, or republicans for that matter, would kind of discount censorship... but that's just me... Call me crazy... I was always under the apparent misguided perception that censorship meant you couldn't say what you wanted... But I'm not an actor, so what do I know; and, since I tend to vote conservative, I'm probably too stupid to form my own ideas anyway...

But, to my point... Sean Penn is considered a humanitarian, and a strong supporter of peace... Yep, I said it... Sean Penn is a pacifist... A belligerent, foul mouth pacifist... A belligerent, foul mouth pacifist who once upon a time liked to punch photographers... But I'll cut him some slack on the punching photographers thing... I mean, he WAS married to Madonna after all... But again, I digress... So he gets this award for freedom of speech, just Google Sean Penn to get some of the excerpts... A more eloquent man, you'll never find... unless of course you look with your eyes and ears open...

So, for my first ever blog: Sean Penn, YOU SUCK!!!! And that was why....





*(If you are liberal and STILL haven't got over the Al Gore thing, you suck and I don't care at all about what you think anyway, get over it and move on already!!!! Just kidding, I really don't care what anyone else thinks one way or the other... I pretty much figure every one is wrong most of the time, and yes, faithless readers, that includes me...)